Notes to my God

A DREAMER

2010-06-07T11:28:00.000+02:00

With a mind like Yours,
I tend to drift,
Vivid I picture,
Detailed I concoct,
Real enough that I can touch,
A haven,
A window into possibilities,
An orifice of destiny,
A jolt of fresh strength,
A hopeful tomorrow,
A leeway,
Honored for Your ability in me,
As I dream on,
Bring them to fruition.

EASTER

2010-03-30T12:03:00.002+02:00

THE END OF A JOURNEY.
The rivulets ran down Your cheeks,
The hour was near,
Your divinity was about to abandon You,
So you could pay for a crime you didn’t commit,
As your traitor put his lips to You,
They snatched You,
You let them believe they were in control,
A fixed trial precedes,
To Golgotha they dragged You,
Mocking and whipping,
Your skin a mangle of ripped flesh,
Blood flowing without restraints,
Your face showed Your pain,
Your heart snickered,
To them the end was near,
To You a beginning was here,
Propped up,
Spread out like hide,
Feet smashed and pierced through,
Hands numb and throbbing,
Straddled with every iniquity ever invented,
Your eyes are glued to the Father,
Fulfillment is building in Your chest,
As strength desert You,
The angels watch tear-eyed,
Your Fathers heart caves in,
Time pauses as breath oozes out of You.
Life seizes to be as we know it.

THE BEGINNING OF LIFE…..
Sentries at alert at the tomb,
While rebirth was being stewed,
The devil should have just let You be,
You are back, bigger and best,
Death has been robbed of its sting,
The end has been reconstructed to a transition,
The veil has been ripped,
The scales have fallen off,
Bloods have mixed,
We have been ransomed,
Rest is ours,
Our slates are brand new,
Your many names come to play,
Our boldness has tripled,
The angels have broke out in a dance,
Gods face is lit up in megawatts,
Time cowers as You give us life anew,
Death seizes to be as we know it.

WITH ALL THAT I AM

2010-02-22T13:06:00.001+01:00

Praises gushing out of me with gusto,
Telling of how you’ve never failed me,
Showing that walking with you delivers,
As we prayed it,
You gave it,
It toyed in my subconscious,
And it was on my plate,
My faith in leaps and bounds,
And all I did was check our previous dealings,
Your paper trail is evident,
Your cheques are as good as cash,
If You say it, You run to effect it,
Habitually You show,
Cleaning house as You pass by,
Leaving everything better than You met it,
Glorious God!
Rock steady Father!
Flawless King!
Reliable friend!
I praise You with the full strength of my lungs,
Only because You deserve

JOURNEYING TOWARDS ME

2010-01-28T11:48:00.001+01:00

I’m on a journey,
Searching for who I am,
My perception of me is erroneous in parts,
Expectations I’ve set I shockingly find out I’m not meeting,
I thought I had it all figured out,
That the road was charted,
The GPS would get me there as planned,
My jaw keeps dropping as I surprise myself repeatedly,
There are things I must accept I can’t handle by myself,
Some, running away will solve,
Others I’m prepared to lose blood for,
My expectations are sky high,
Far away from what reality obtains,
I want life to be calculated,
But new turns, blocks are invented at a moments notice,
I fear that I might fail God and my loved ones,
That I may wake someday and be were I didn’t purchase a ticket to,
I’m the most optimistic,
Yet daily life enervates me,
I’m sad,
Then I’m happy,
Then I hit rock bottom with springs in my shoes,
Unable to attain consistency,
Craving permanent shelter amongst the stars,
Hating the downward drop,
I come to you only because you are my source,
You wrote the manual,
You keyed in the codes,
I need help,
I need You,
You are all that I’ve got,
The only one who won’t turn me back cos of my incessant flaws,
Let me sit on your laps,
Direct me to the me that delights You,
It important that I get it right,
Help me Father.

MAKING OF A CLASSIC

2009-11-04T10:44:00.001+01:00

When it rains, it pours,
Twilight,
Or is it Aurora?
Season 7, episode 21of ‘if it tarries’
Yet the plot thickens,
I must be all that,
For all these to beleaguer,
The shutters of my eyes quiver,
A song stirs in my spirit,
It’s on continuous play,
It stays till I’m comforted,
I summon courage for yet another day,
Around the corner is near,
The fragrance called ‘victory’ is stuck in my nostrils,
The goose flesh testifies,
Its time,
My inheritance in installments,
In step with my King,
Rhythm in our sync,
The cheer of my Father,
The dance of my Mother,
The village square theatricals,
A son’s sojourn has yielded bountifully,
Purpose has been achieved,
Only because I am a bosom friend,
Of the Author,
And the Finisher,
And we took every step of the journey together.

I MISS YOU

2009-09-11T16:38:00.002+02:00

The ache is more than I can bear,
I’m hollow, the echo is clear,
Tilt my ear but still I don’t hear,
How did I get here?
Lost in self thoughts, I’ve wandered,
It was meant to be a stroll not a stray,
With every step the power ebbed,
The glow on my skin went with your glory,
My pupil now a shade of grey,

I miss you much,
Our spot by the gate,
Your tender nudge,
The aroma of your proximity,
The welling in my chest when you visit,
The perk on my face at the mention of your name,
The afterglow of your presence,
The peace you bring at your reaching,
Our intimacy,

I want back,
I want more,
Need you to move in,
Out with me, in with you,
Need to exude your spirit,
Sate me,
Consume me,
Wrap me in silk and suppleness of you,
The throne room of my heart awaits you.
Your boy earnestly waits

A GOD OF STYLE

2009-08-20T13:42:00.002+02:00

A satellite picture of the earth,
The second the orange rays hit the ocean,
The woman,
A smile,
Your Sons resurrection,
The first cry of a baby,
Me,
Jesus’ robe,
The purple velvet inYour tabernacle,
The wake of a flowers’ blossom,
Rushing waters,
A shooting star,
Colors of the rainbow,
Laughter,
A helping hand,
The aroma of freshly brewed coffee,
Love,
Your taste is truly impeccable,
Grand!

BANTER

2009-07-06T11:55:00.002+02:00

Jay: God?
God: yeah?
J: been thinking
GD: about what?
J: like you don’t already know
GD: humor me
J: okay, lots of stuff actually
GD: be specific, son
J: I’ve been thinking of why I’m where I am in life
GD: Where are you?
J: come on God!
GD: answer me Jay Pierre
J: Gosh now you sound like my dad
GD: I am
J: okay seriously, I feel like am on pause!
GD: so?
J: so? What do mean?
GD: exactly what I said, so what if?
J: thought you were going to explain why?
GD: you didn’t ask me to
J: okay I’m asking!
GD: don’t raise your voice at me!
J: oops sorry!
GD: clean slate
J: thanks
GD: your definition of ‘pause’ differs from mine
J: how so?
GD: sometimes it is progress
J: Come on! Don’t go philosophical on me
GD: this is me being straight actually
J: expatiate Lord
GD: I make you wait at a corner longer than you expect cos I want to show you something
J: really?
GD: yep
J: it’s difficult, especially when it seems my peers have shot ahead of me
GD: seems? Nice choice of words there
J: but it’s obvious!
GD: to whom?
J: but…..
GD: what have I told you about comparing?
J: that our scripts are different
GD: and?
J: that you make everything beautiful in Your time
GD: didn’t hear that clearly, whose time?
J: Yours Lord.
GD: so let me be God in your life
J: I’m trying
GD: hands off and watch me
J: but…
GD: no buts son
J: okay, ‘do your thing’ like ‘stoneman’
GD: will do better
J: exceedingly…abundantly
GD: Oh you know the scripture? Keep confessing it then
J: Will do, feel better already Lord
GD: I’m thinking only good thoughts toward you, you know
GD: And my word will become flesh in your life
J: Thanks Dad
GD: pleasure’s all mine amigos.
J: lol

ELASTIC LOVING

2009-05-22T21:33:00.001+02:00

You really are in love with me, aren’t You?
Again I’ve broken free from Your grip,
Running swiftly toward the cliff,
I offer myself to be sifted as wheat,
My prayers are halfhearted,
I have starved myself of You,
Letting my mind feed off thistles,
Enjoying the bruises that follow,
‘Just this once more’, I say,
Then I’m done disgracing You,
I’ll just look at the gourmet meal,
I promise, I won’t eat it,
Scouts honor!
Knowingly You smile,
Bringing to remembrance Your word,
True, lord,
I’ll be licking my fingers before You say J,
Shouldn’t have stayed off You for a second,
Now I’m weak,
Willing to self destruct.
But loving You,
To my rescue again,
My redeemer,
My saviour,
Bringing me to safety.
Always stay near, lord,
Forgive my whims,
Keep me in check,
And I’ll be a son for life.

SOAKING

2009-05-07T12:46:00.001+02:00

Often I like to sit in Your presence,
No words spoken,
No jiggling,
Just still,
Taking in Your atmosphere,
Nothing else matters this moment,
I am in the palace,
I am safe here,
I don’t want to say anything to You,
If You don’t utter, I understand,
It’s so peaceful here,
So alright,
I’m the showbread now,
When I’m done soaking
In a bit I’ll be the bread of Your Presence,
I’m elated that I increase when we hang.

MULTIFACETED ATTACK

2009-04-20T14:41:00.001+02:00

I’m at crossroads this moment,
The battle within me is fierce,
I knew this day would come,
What I didn’t know was how,
Nice angle you picked ‘king of Hades’,
I was wondering how you’ll let me through this easily,
A transition is near,
A newness is in the offing,
A covenant is pen ready,
The 3 strands are about to be bound for eternity,
Damage is about to hit your ministry,
Allies are being birthed,
Foot soldiers are being promoted to generals,
Typical of you to jab at my weakness in such an hour,
Trying to shove my into another destiny,
Coming at me with all you got,
Tinkering with my thoughts,
Fortunately for me, God is true to his words,
He has given me a way of escape yet again,
I will do His bid and not yours,
I’ll have you flat on your back once more,
I’ll have you squealing in no time,
I’ll get to were He needs me,
The level I yearn,
I’ll walk in the future He intended,
You can bring your ‘A’ game,
I’m ready,
Armor clad,
Spirit nurtured,
Skill, razor sharp,
And my Master strategist ahead,
So bring it on!
Cos I know promotion is nigh!

DID YOU MEAN IT WHEN YOU SAID.............

2009-03-27T11:28:00.001+01:00

I’m the apple of Your eye……
That You will never leave me nor forsake me…..Heb13:5
That You update the count on my hairs after a haircut…Luke 12:7
That before I thought it, you parceled a bonus…Eph3:20
That hand in hand You’ll lead me by still waters….Ps23:2
That when I slip You’ll break my fall….Prov24:16
That Your grace is enough…..2Cor 12:9
That there’s no condemnation….Rom8:1
That in time everything is made beautiful…..Ecc3:11
That no one can take away Your gifts in me….Rom11:29
That You are by my side and fear won’t dare…..Ps118:6
That I’ll be the last man standing….Ps91:7
That I’m king because You have ordained me…Phil4:13
That if my desires align with Your plan it’ll blossom...Prov19:21
That when I hope I’ll grow wings…..Isa40:31
That my surname is God…Isa43:1
That nothing wrings Your brows….Gen18:14
That my sins are written upon waters…Isa43:25
That my cup will run over……..Ps23:5

Did you mean it when You said that if I seek You that I will find You….Jer29:13

Thank You.

WHEN YOU SPEAK

2009-03-12T17:21:00.000+01:00

When You speak,
Hearts find relief,
Minds find understanding,
Problems are solved,
Direction is found,
Wisdom is imparted,
Patience is acquired,
Confirmations rear,
Questions are asked,
Insight deepens,
Warmth flows,
Confidence returns,
Flaws correct,
Destiny aligns,
Joy abounds,
Burdens lift,
Assurance beckons,
Love shows,
End is known,
When you speak, Lord,
Light shines brightly, darkness disperses.

FROM WHERE I AM STANDING

2009-02-26T10:02:00.000+01:00

Face in the dirt,
Arms tied backwards,
Gagged,
I look up and I see,
You are still God.
Bed ridden,
Breath deserting me,
Bankrupt,
I look up and I see,
You are still God.
A success,
Fulfilled and content,
A victor,
I look up and I see,
You are still God.
From where I’m standing,
In my highs and lows,
I will look up and see,
For You are unchanging,
You are forever God.
Forever my God.

BREAKING NEWS: 10 MINUTES TO LIVE

2009-02-16T18:03:00.000+01:00

Minute1: Panic stricken, imobilarie,
Minute2: Muster some thought; is this how I’m going out?
Minute3: Heart check; any slip-ups with my Father?
Minute4; Father forgive me for my sins {can’t be too sure},
Minute5: My sweetness! ma tulip! God please!
Minute6: Double check; are we good God?
Minute7: Baby I’m waiting for you, The Father and I, (hurry! no don’t)
Minute8: Ponder; what do You have in store for me Father,
Minute9: Is this for real? My family! Did I fulfill destiny, are You smiling?
45 Seconds…….. : Into Your Bosom, Finally, peace, rest, I get to see You!
15 Seconds… Calm, excited! Beautiful! I made it! Thank You Jesus!
Flat line………………………………………………………………….
Bright light, where am I? My angels, the gate……….
Welcome son…………
Is That You Lord? Awesome! Whoa!

REQUIRING THE NECESSITY OF YOU

2009-01-26T15:32:00.000+01:00

My journey with You is yet to span decades,
But it’s like I’m in special ed and getting double promotions in one breath,
In recent times I’ve learnt that I didn’t wait long enough for You,
Yes I asked,
No, You didn’t speak,
I want Your leading in my tiniest of endeavors,
I realize my mouth said you are chief but heart co-chaired with You,
Now I know better,
Now I’m saying if it’s not You I don’t want it,
Now I’m saying if you don’t go, I won’t follow,
Now I’m saying if you don’t make it happen, it won’t happen,
Now I’m saying if it’s not You, it’s not me,
If I can’t confidently give you all the glory,
Then I won’t testify,
I require the necessity of You in all,
So I know the Holy Spirit has my hand in His.

IN AWE

2009-01-19T12:21:00.000+01:00

As the days go by,
I appreciate the workings Your hands more,
There’s beauty in all You’ve made,
Your intelligence astounds me,
Your brilliance has me tongue tied,
Your kindness breaks me,
Your faithfulness shames me,
In the moments that I see through You,
I fight back tears euphoria,
I need to know You,
I beg to understudy You,
I yearn to be mentored by You,
Let me ride on Your back,
As You point out the bottomless things of You,
Teach me with everything and nothing,
I’ll be seeking You until the day I see You.
I love You Lord,
I really do.

AS I WAIT

2009-01-14T12:01:00.000+01:00

As I await my miracle,
No time span is stated,
Seemingly an endless wait,
Not knowing how it’ll manifest,
But sure to recognize it,
When I see it,
Assured that the battle is mine,
Yet right now I’m loosing blood fast,
Time in gestation is vague,
Taking of delivery certain,
Yet not specified,
Always at the knick of time,
You show,
Gift wrapped is Your exceedingly, abundantly and above.
Just as I tilt to shame,
Grace pulls me back to Your glory

YOU IN ME

2009-01-05T11:23:00.000+01:00

I open my mouth and You speak,
I’m suppressed for You to emerge,
Searching for an answer and You hand it to me,
You teach me great things in my obedience,
I literally feel like me when You visit,
Never gone out on a limb like with the Lamb,
Amazing how You use me and I’m oblivious to it,
The Master Puppeteer,
Administering antibiotics while I don’t know I’m in need,
Healing me in my sleep,
Giving men unto me,
Yet they are clueless who sent them,
You covet me,
Transplanting me to Your courtyard,
Just so You can water me at the required hour,
Sink it into my membrane that I’m precious to You,
That You will give up bliss for even second for me, intrigues me,
Awaken Your ways in me,
Stoke me into purpose,
Cheer when I figure yet another puzzle,
As I break ranks toward You,
Where You are I intend to be,
The Holy of holies!
Feeding off the palms of Jehovah.

YOUR MERCIES I SEE

2008-12-19T10:08:00.000+01:00

If You were to judge me on a daily,
I would fail consistently,
If You struck at the heat of all sins,
I would be without a pulse,
If You turned Your back at my every iniquity,
I would be the devils dinner,
If You prosecuted as I faltered,
I would lose every case,
If You loved me by my deeds,
I would have been Your ex,
If You left me to myself,
I would miss it repeatedly,
Thank You for blotting out my sins,
Erasing it with every morning,
I am sorry for my weaknesses,
Bless You for Your strength in me.

MY POTTER

2008-12-09T10:29:00.000+01:00

The clay in Your hand,
In Your mind a picture rears,
Clear and concise,
Detailed to the letter,
You begin to mix and mould,
With every stroke, You perfect,
Blemishes You correct,
Unwanted elements You remove,
You compare with the image in Your minds eye,
You step back and look,
More clay,
A squirt of water,
A flaw won’t correct,
You dissolve all of it and start again,
Patiently You craft,
Almost doesn’t count,
As You saw,
As You intended,
So it shall be,
A masterpiece You purposed,
A chef-d’oeurve I’ll be.

SEARCHING FOR WHAT I ALREADY HAVE

2008-11-27T12:35:00.000+01:00

My thoughts are truly pedestrian,
Here I am standing in Your throne room,
I can see the splendor,
Your presence is heavy in the atmosphere,
Pleading my case I intend,
My heart can be measured in tonnes,
I bleed through my eyes,
I clear my throat in a bid to start,
My chin touching my chest,
I dare to look up,
What I see puzzles me,
That radiant smile,
You seem pleased to have me before You,
I realize that what bothers me doesn’t move You,
You have had the likes of me stand before You often,
For thousand of years actually,
You say, before I prayed it, You did it,
That Your plans are beyond my challenges,
That for every travail, You had a reason,
For every heartache, You were working,
For every brick wall, You were redirecting,
Some things had to occur so I’ll seek You,
Others presented an opportunity to showcase Your supremacy,
So now all of it has brought me were You wanted me,
At Your feet,
All you want is already in your destiny, You say,
All I want is your fellowship,
Your life is perfected when we are best of friends,
Then I realized how I’d been chasing my own tail,
All I’ll ever need flows out from intimacy with You,
Thanks pal.

YOUR SILENCE

2008-11-17T15:27:00.000+01:00

Sometimes its like You have zoned out on me,
Can hear the cricket in the alley,
but I can’t hear my greatest Ally,
I can feel Your breathe on my cheek,
My ears strain,
My being stills,
I hear only my hearts rhythm,
Your presence is a certainty,
I know Your voice well enough,
Yet You won’t verbalize,
Does there need to be words every time will frolic?
Isn’t Your silence fellowship in itself?
Its Good to know that You are here,
Enjoying just being around me,
Lovers communicating,
Word or not its comforting knowing You are near.

A PAWN IN GODS HANDS

2008-11-06T11:07:00.000+01:00

Everyday, incessantly in many ways you try to bring me down,
It kills you to see me in sync,
Throwing anything and everything at me,
Causing temporary distractions,
Playing tricks on my mind,
Using even the closest to my core,
You are relentless,
Inventing new stuff just to get me in a rut,
Your quiver of arrows don’t faze me,
My Shield intact,
You don’t get it do you?
I belong to Someone else,
The One who turns what you meant for evil into good,
Nothing happens unless He allows it,
So I know better,
By default you work for Him to best me,
You are pawn in my Fathers hands.

ON WHAT FREQUENCY SHOULD I LOVE

2008-10-27T12:39:00.000+01:00

You’ve said to love You,
Love my neighbor, as myself,
You sealed it with;
Loving like You have loved me,
Now that got me thinking,
It had me searching,
How have You loved me?
You sacrificed,
You gave,
You save,
You paved,
You bled,
You died,
You advocate,
All for me,
Even when I was unlovable,
Even when I didn’t love You back,
This couldn’t have been easy,
So this is the kind of loving You require of me,
That I take this to the streets,
That I love everyone in this manner,
That I love like You.

I KNOW YOU

2008-10-20T16:26:00.000+02:00

Shouldn’t I know You by now?
Your principles and patterns are unfazed,
Two dots apart, where will you start the line from today?
Author and Finisher, but in between You reinvent Yourself,
Alpha and Omega! Impressive! Yet You take time to laugh with me,
How can I know the end is bliss and yet fuss about the web spinning?
Predictable yet at the end my jaw drops and I drool shamelessly,
I Can honestly picture You laughing, at my reactions,
Gotcha!
Shepard and the Lamb, how? Multifaceted, Multitasking personified,
The King of kings is my bosom friend!!
You never give up on me, even when I think You should,
Talk about persistence in love,
You must see things I can’t,
Show me,
Spiritual muscles, You help me work on my abs,
Why do You need me in top shape?
For Your glory, right?
Typical of You, giving me answers in my questions,
Humor me, what is Your favorite day of the week?
Sundays or Wednesdays?
When can’t You help but do the ‘electric slide’
What prompts butterflies in stomach?
What gets You grinning like a toothless two year old?
Cos those are things I will focus on,
I want to please You,
For once, let me tend to You,
Ask of me anything God,
Got You smiling, ha!
You just made my day.

MY FLAWS,YOUR PLANS

2008-10-15T13:33:00.000+02:00

I’m curious Lord,
My flaws, the mistakes I’ve made over the years,
Did you know they were all going to happen?
Are they a part of my destiny from inception?
Sketched into my blue prints,
Are there more to come?
Can I even try to evade them?
I know there is no changing Your initial encryption,
Your works are cast on Your Spirit,
Which temptations did You know I’ll beat and which I won’t?
Did you laugh at me or did I bring tears to Your eyes?
I seem to have loads of questions needing answers,
Where is the edge of the cliff for You?
When Your hands get too slippery and Your grasp does loosen?
Do You ever give up?
Is ‘the end’ in Your vocabulary?
Don’t ever go quiet on me Father,
Never sever the cord that joins us,
Death becomes me when You are not near,
Absent minded,
Not a care in the world,
Myopic,
I want to live everyday for You,
I want to conquer only with You,
My success has to be Yours,
I forge only because You allow it,
I survive only because You cushion,
I can, because You have.

UMBILICAL

2008-10-09T11:13:00.000+02:00

Increasingly, clearly, consistently I find that with every stride that I by myself I’m nothing, utter crap without You,
Rudderless, unintelligent, spineless, scared without You,
There is so much to do, to be, to have but without You my being rattles, not daring to mutter a breath,
I want to follow only You,
Its You only I can trust
You are the only one with tested results
Embrace me, show me, assure me, direct me, tutor me, equip me, qualify me for the purpose You have engineered into me before day 1.

YOUR PRESENCE

2008-10-07T15:34:00.000+02:00

My spine buckles when I’m outside Your presence,
I’m comfortable crying only in Your Presence,
Thoughts of You brings me into Your presence,
A glimpse of the future, a beauty to behold only in Your presence,
My greatest life goal is to come to a place where I’m perpetually in Your presence.