I’m on a journey,
Searching for who I am,
My perception of me is erroneous in parts,
Expectations I’ve set I shockingly find out I’m not meeting,
I thought I had it all figured out,
That the road was charted,
The GPS would get me there as planned,
My jaw keeps dropping as I surprise myself repeatedly,
There are things I must accept I can’t handle by myself,
Some, running away will solve,
Others I’m prepared to lose blood for,
My expectations are sky high,
Far away from what reality obtains,
I want life to be calculated,
But new turns, blocks are invented at a moments notice,
I fear that I might fail God and my loved ones,
That I may wake someday and be were I didn’t purchase a ticket to,
I’m the most optimistic,
Yet daily life enervates me,
I’m sad,
Then I’m happy,
Then I hit rock bottom with springs in my shoes,
Unable to attain consistency,
Craving permanent shelter amongst the stars,
Hating the downward drop,
I come to you only because you are my source,
You wrote the manual,
You keyed in the codes,
I need help,
I need You,
You are all that I’ve got,
The only one who won’t turn me back cos of my incessant flaws,
Let me sit on your laps,
Direct me to the me that delights You,
It important that I get it right,
Help me Father.
